new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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