My balls are so social today.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
