Please, let me fuck your mom
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Then you guys just all showered together...?
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
