Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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