xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
