apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
