Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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