sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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