Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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