Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
