so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
