Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Randomize
