I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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