can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
where am i from again
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
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