So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
