Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize