Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
