That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
operation harelip BJ is a go
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
