Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
