So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize