that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
