so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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