Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Rumble strips road head = magical
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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