You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
We are two peas in an std pod
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
