I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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