fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
