So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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