Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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