I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
why do cheetos always look like penises
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Randomize
