my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
