Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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