she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Randomize
