You're completely useless in the revolution.
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize