it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Randomize
