Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
