it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
After last night, I could never be a politician.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
