Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
