Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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