Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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