I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
You don't make any sense
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