i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
