He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
