we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
