I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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