I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
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