first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
