I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize