Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
