Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
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