A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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