OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
