She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize