how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
All the doctor said was why
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
