All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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