thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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