I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
