hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
